From Organizer to Case Study
The Policy Gaps Are Now My Lived Experience
For those of you who may not be aware, last Summer I organized a protest called WhatTheFet. The purpose was to highlight the structural gaps within FetLife’s Community Guidelines and Terms of Service that were creating harm and enabling inconsistent enforcement, with the hope that those gaps would be addressed and closed.
As requested by FetLife leadership through our correspondence, I outlined five priority policy gaps identified through conversations, testimonials, and lived experiences shared by community members. In that response, I specified:
The exact policy language
The structural gap that language created
Why that gap was harmful in practice
For transparency, I am linking the correspondence here:
Those concerns centered on recurring themes reported by members:
Vague and subjective enforcement language
Inconsistent moderation outcomes
Insufficient reporting categories
Lack of transparent appeal pathways
Structural opacity in enforcement decisions
At the time, I was organizing around patterns experienced by others.
Recently, I became a living example of those same patterns.
Your Account Is Locked
On February 7, 2026 (approximately 11:00 a.m. EST)
I was unable to log into my account, Scorpio-Siren. The login screen displayed that my account was locked. I had received no prior notice.
The screen did not resemble the standard timeout language typically issued for temporary suspensions. It did not include:
A stated reason for the lock
A duration or timeframe
The standard language advising the user not to log in from other accounts during the suspension period
It simply indicated that the account was locked and provided the option to export data.
February 8, 2026 (8:02 p.m. EST)
I remained unable to log in. No email or correspondence had been sent explaining the reason for the lock, whether it was temporary or permanent, or outlining next steps.
On that date, I sent an email inquiry to FetLife Support requesting clarification regarding my account status and whether any action was required on my part.
No response was received.
Three days later, I followed up on that email inquiry. No response was received.
To date, there has been no communication, notification, or updates provided.
As of the time of this writing, the account remains inaccessible.
In anticipation that the original account may be deleted, I created a new account and deactivated it.
As today marks day 15 of the original account lockout, and I have not been informed of a ban or deletion, I attempted to access and reactivate the new account.
Upon attempting to log in, the same “Your account is locked” screen appeared. A green banner indicated that I needed to reactivate the account to access it; however, no method or link to complete reactivation was provided.
This screen also differed from the standard account reactivation process.
Following the on-screen prompts to “Log In” or “Join FetLife,” I attempted to create a new account using the same email address associated with my original profile.
During that process, I received an automated email titled “Account Found – Let’s Get You Logged In.” The email stated that an existing FetLife account was already linked to that email address and instructed me to log in or reset my password to access the profile.
The message also included language indicating that if I preferred a fresh start, I could sign up using a different email address.
No indication was provided in that email that the account had been permanently banned, deleted, or otherwise terminated.
I repeated this process using the email address associated with the newly created and deactivated account and received the same automated response.
What’s Up With Your Account?
Many of you have reached out asking what happened. This is what happened.
No violation has been cited.
No explanation has been issued.
No appeal process has been provided.
What’s Next?
Regardless of the outcome of this experience, the broader conversation about governance, clarity, and structural accountability continues.
I may or may not continue following up directly with the platform.
I will be moving forward with KYNKT, a Black woman/ femme/ them centered, self-governed community designed to address many of the structural concerns that have been discussed over the past year.
If you are interested in participating in influencing the community culture of in the kink and fetish space, I encourage you to subscribe for updates at www.KYNKT.net.
The patterns we see worldwide prove that systems are often structured to protect themselves. Now is the time to remind systems of the power of community.
Capt. Chaos